Rot in Hell, You Malevolent Cocksuckers: AIG Edition

January 8, 2013 by Keyser Söze | Filed under AIG, Bad Idea of the Day, Bad Manners, Doggy-Style, Fuck You, Gift that Keeps on Giving, How Dumb Can You Be?, Humor, Keyser's Personal Hell, Let the Good Times Roll, Lies.


Okay, look back in the day, troche Keyser used to comment a whole lot about the fall out from the great meltdown of 2008. After a while, it got sort of tired, and eventually I gave it up. But don’t think that the hard feelings have gotten any less hard.

Those who’ve hung out at the Lair for a long time may recall that Keyser got cleaned out to the tune of $5000 when AIG imploded. And then those swine at Goldman Sachs who had co-opted the US treasury for the purpose of bailing out their incompetent, self-serving, greedy asses got the government to steal the company from its shareholders (yours truly) and make it pay out big-time to the owners of mortgage-based securities to whom the company had imbecilically sold credit default swaps. Basically, if the company had gone belly up, as its ineptitude so richly deserved, then all the other pricks who had propped up their own incompetence via credit default swaps, which supposedly made their rash dealings look good to regulators, would have gone belly-up in turn.

So, after all this time, I’ve sort of forgotten about it. But rest assured that I have not forgiven, and harbor boundless hatred towards all involved.

And then the fuckers have the audacity to come up with some gloating ad about how they’re back and as malevolent as ever.

Get this: “We repaid every dollar America lent us.” Oh, well, good for you. Glad the Treasury could lend you the money to bail out Goldman Sachs and then to go on as if your vast incompetence had never happened.

But one question for you. Where’s my fucking five thousand dollars, you mother fuckers?

3 Responses to “Rot in Hell, You Malevolent Cocksuckers: AIG Edition”

  1. When I saw the headline, I assumed you would be commenting on AIG’s unbelievable return to the headlines over the past 24 hours.

    Their apparent threat to sue for being bailed out
    The outrage that they were even considering such a thing.
    And their decision not to.

    On first hearing the news, I had wondered whether or not to bring it to your attention. Their claim to be suing because “shareholders” (and anyone with an ounce of human decency can only read “shareholders” as “Keyser Söze”) had been hurt might strike a chord, but as there would be no way for the fat (thanks to taxpayer dollars used to swindle said shareholders) cats to return the money to you, it had to be nothing but greedy self interest on the part of people who are already absurdly overpaid. So I thought, for the sake of your blood pressure, I had better not call attention to it, in the forlorn hope of saving you from the news.

    With all good thoughts for you and all wishes for the swift and painful damnation of those involved in this case.


  2. Keyser says:

    and anyone with an ounce of human decency can only read “shareholders” as “Keyser Söze”

    Well, history has proven that apart from the loyal readership of the Lair, humanity is now bereft of decency, no?

    Actually, I was so outraged and the effort to recall those horrid posts of yestertheft so draining that I omitted to animadvert at the time to the idea that those swine would actually have the effrontery to say “Oh, yeah, you didn’t give us enough, muthafucka. We wants mo!” I had planned to go back to it the next day, but the pressures of Keyser’s important functions at Igloo U. (about which I’d be delighted to tell y’all, but then the interests of national security would dictate your deaths, and that would hardly be sporting) intervened.

    Now that you’ve enlightened everyone about this old news, I guess I won’t bother.

    But… sheesh!

  3. messi fan says:

    And fuck Ronaldo too that arrogant sack of shit. Forza Barca!!! Viva Messi!!!

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    As Keyser's father used to say, "If you have to ask, I'm not going to tell you."

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