Archive for the ‘Self-Improvement’ Category

Home, Sweet, Home

January 25, 2015 by Keyser Söze | 6 Comments | Filed in Babes, Bad Dates, Bad Habits, BDSM, Be All You Can Be, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Don't Look Down, Dream the Impossible Dream, Dumb Idea of the Day, Enlightenment, Ethical Depravity, Everyone's Human, Fetishes, Foreplay, Freaks, Fun and Games, God is Dead, How Dumb Can You Be?, Inter-species Sex, Invasion of Privacy, It's All a Matter of Taste, Keyser, Keyser is an Idiot, Keyser man of Mystery, Keyser's Personal Hell, Keyser's Weird Fantasies, Kinky Sex, Let the Good Times Roll, Lunacy, Madness, Mrs. S, People are Nuts, Personal Relationships, Philosophy, Places to Avoid, PSA, Psychology, Pull the Other One, Pussy Power, Redheads Rule, Scary Idea of the Day, Self-Hatred, Self-Improvement, Sex, Sex Through the Ages, Some People Are Nuts, Some People Never Learn, The Horror, Theater of the Absurd, Thought for the Day, Triumph of the Human Spirit, War and Deliverance, We're Doomed, What in the Fuck is the Matter with People?, Will of God, You Have a Dirty Mind

One of the strange things about life is that it may turn out that you’re entirely wrong about something you’ve always thought you knew everything about. Take your old friend Keyser. (“Please, ambulance ” ha ha!) You’d think that after all these years, I’d know what was going on in my own head. Turns out […]

Tomorrow is the First Day of a Brave New Future…

December 31, 2014 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Babes, Self-Improvement

So don’t forget to have a bracing cup of bad coffee to fortify yourself.

And Ne’er the Twain Shall Meet

November 8, 2014 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Be All You Can Be, Books, Bring Out Your Dead, Keyser is an Idiot, Love, Philosophy, Regrets, Self-Improvement, Sex

You know, troche in his decrepit dotage, recipe Keyser has come to realize the many mistakes he made with various instantiations of the putatively fairer sex. Bad the sad truth is that even if it were possible to get a hold of one of those Hermione Granger “do over” buttons, it would do no good. […]

“Does This Make Me Look Fat?”

September 23, 2014 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Babes, Bad News, Beauty Contest, Invasion of Privacy, Self-Improvement, Sexy Lingerie

Immortal Celebrity: Papal Edition

July 6, 2013 by Keyser Söze | 10 Comments | Filed in Bad Habits, Bad Idea of the Day, Catholic Church, Celebrity Bowling, Humor, Immortality, Insanity, Papal Supremacy, People are Nuts, Regrets, Rehabilitation, Self-Improvement, Theater of the Absurd, Theological Disputes

Used to be, sovaldi back in the day when people actually believed in stuff like Catholicism and it was just a symbol of ethnic identity like shamrocks and lederhosen, that to become a saint you had to do something really cool. Like when St. Lawrence turned back bacon into Canadian bacon or when St. Rocco […]

Omm

July 2, 2013 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Babes, Be All You Can Be, Self-Improvement

Reading is Good for a Person

March 24, 2013 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Babes, Be All You Can Be, Good Sex, Good Taste, Photography, Self-Improvement

Tom Friedman, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the BS

March 5, 2013 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Asshole of the Day, Be All You Can Be, Bullshit, Demonology, Do It Yourself, Intellectual History, Invasion of Privacy, It's All a Matter of Taste, Miracles of Modern Science, Performance Art, Public Speaking, Pull the Other One, Rugged Individualism, Scary Idea of the Day, Self-Improvement, Sign of the Times, Some People Are Nuts, Some People Never Learn, Stupid Idea of the Day, Theater of the Absurd

This is even worse than those traitor magicians who reveal how that woman really isn’t sawed in half in the box. Assholes.

More Valentine’s Day Thoughts

February 14, 2013 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Babes, Depression, Desperation, How Dumb Can You Be?, Joke of the Day, Keyser is an Idiot, Love, Personal Relationships, Sad Realizations, Self-Improvement, Sex

You know, seek they tell you all sorts of shit when you’re growing up about how you’re supposed to treat women and what they want. And you lead your life on the basis of that information. Then one day, you realize that none of it’s true. And the joke is on you, because by this […]

Spring is the Cruelest Time of Year

March 18, 2012 by Keyser Söze | No Comments | Filed in Keyser, Keyser's Pleasures, Photography, Self-Improvement

Keyser’s been while away his many hours of spare time with a photography course. Here’s the infamous “Orange College” on dreary spring (well, ambulance almost spring) day here in Iglooville. It’s actually been a pretty mild winter and the snow’s mostly gone. But no sign of the turn of life yet…

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    As Keyser's father used to say, "If you have to ask, I'm not going to tell you."

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