Home, Sweet, Home


One of the strange things about life is that it may turn out that you’re entirely wrong about something you’ve always thought you knew everything about.

Take your old friend Keyser. (“Please, ambulance ” ha ha!) You’d think that after all these years, I’d know what was going on in my own head. Turns out after more than fifty years that I was completely wrong about certain aspects of my personality that I thought were one way, and now, after figuring out various things about myself, I’ve been operating under rather false premises about what makes Keyser “tick”. Seems that instead of going “tick”, he goes “tock”.

Who’d a thunk? Well, actually, in retrospect, now that I’ve realized what goes on in my head, it’s actually always been like that, I just didn’t really listen to what my psyche was saying to me. There’s no point in beating your self up over water that’s under the bridge (as it were), but I wonder how my life would have worked differently, if I’d been more in tune with myself.

To tell you the truth, I found the initial realization of what I felt to be at best embarrassing, and at worst (on bad days) as shameful.

But you know what? Fuck it. I a what I am, so the hell with it. That’s how things roll.

And it has to be said that Mrs. S. has been a good sport about it all.

So, here’s a word of advice from Keyser to his audience. Both of you! Realize what you really want and make the best of it. You are what you are, and there’s nothing to be done about.

Unless, of course, you’re John Wayne Gacy, in which case you should instantly off yourself. But I’m sure nobody reading this is like that.

Fun Idea for the Next Time You’re In Moscow

Russians are at times wacky people. This guy got it into his head to climb up to the top of the Bolshevik sculpture on the roof of this building:

I’m sure the regular breed of Lair reader would never be stupid enough to do such a thing, see but for the stray reader who winds up here by accident, store be sure to wait out the video to the end, when you can see the reaction of the guy to his climbing experience. If his face isn’t a PSA for “Kids, don’t try this at home!”, I dunno what is. So, just to be sure that everybody’s clear on the concept: Kids, don’t try to climb up to the top of the highest Bolshevik monument in your area (particularly not if it’s 577 ft. off the ground)!