The Cavalry is on the Way: Central Banker Edition
By · Feb, 06 2010, CommentsAs Greece and Portugal are set to crash the euro, a huge bubble is set to burst in China, and the massive decline in credit (which is the real source of the money supply in our fiat-currency world) keeps declining in the US, not to worry! The minions of Goldman Sachs omniscient and omnipotent heads of the world’s major central banks are set to have a little pow-wow down under:
THE world’s top central bankers began arriving in Australia yesterday as renewed fears about the strength of the global economic recovery gripped world share markets.
Representatives from 24 central banks and monetary authorities including the US Federal Reserve and European Central Bank landed in Sydney to meet tomorrow at a secret location, the Herald Sun reports.
Since they’ve done such a bang-up job presiding over the world’s economy, shifting those macro levers of monetary policy a nano-millimeter this way or a quantitative easing that way to maintain the system in perfect equilibrium, we can now rest easy with the thought that these men have set their minds to… saving the… day…
Oh, shit. We’re doomed.
Fama Keyseri per Orbem Funditur
By · Feb, 06 2010, CommentsWell, here it is late Friday night (Saturday morning by the clock), and Keyser mild-mannered alter-ego Clark Kent discovers that the long-awaited Polish translation of his first magnum opus (on a topic not involving daemonology but a diferent sphere of esoteric lore that Clark dabbles in) has finally appeared in print. No one at the press bothered to inform Clark, who upon discovering this news had virtually no one to tell (Mrs. S. conked out long since, and most people are either asleep or have better things to do on a Friday night than hear of alter-Keyser’s literary repute).
Remember, it’s already been turned into Modern Greek, and everyone knows that only the choicest of books on esoteric ancient lore get translated into Polish, so this is a major event. Right?
So, Keyser’s sharing the news with you. Too bad you can’t find out who the real Clark Kent is, but that would spoil all the fun of being an obscure movie reference, wouldn’t it? (Also, no one who’s learned the truth has lived to tell the tale, and that would hardly be a suitable way to repay Lair reader loyalty.)
The Todaily Image
By · Feb, 05 2010, CommentsBoy, today brought a new meaning to the expression “shagged out”…
The Image for Today
By · Feb, 04 2010, CommentsOn a day when Keyser has to deal with a bit of impending death, here’s a ghostly image.
Cancer’s a Bitch: Cat Edition
By · Feb, 04 2010, CommentsJust came back from the vet’s. One of the cats almost certainly has cancer, so we’ll have to decide what to do. Keyser doesn’t begrudge God his decisions of life and death one bit. Good thing he’s omniscient, as these things aren’t so easy at all for mere mortals.
Can You Recite the Alphabet Backwards?
By · Feb, 04 2010, Comments
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And he comes so close to getting away with it!
But don’t drive drunk. Bad idea all around.
Having a Bad Day?: Vaggazling Edition
By · Feb, 04 2010, CommentsNo, really. (Stick with it. It starts with vapid – this guy must be the worst interviewer – but degenerates horribly towards the end.)
“It looks like a little disco ball down there.” Good to know, Jen. Good to know.
Pompous Ass of the Day
By · Feb, 04 2010, CommentsJesus Christ, get a load of this:
I was born in Seattle, and I grew up there and in Manhattan; Columbia, Missouri; Long Beach, New York; and Portland, Oregon. I have also lived in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and Austin, Texas, but I prefer the Pacific Ocean. I have some Norwegian ancestors.
My wife has taught courses on Pindar, Herodotus, detective fiction, and Elvis. Our cat Sophie also admires Elvis, and our cat Sam studies fluid dynamics; both are avid birdwatchers.
My sister is a Tibetanist, and so is my brother. He’s a linguist working with language archives, and so am I. Our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather did some Algic language documentation, so does our eighth cousin once removed, and so do I.
My father is a philosopher, and so is my uncle. That uncle was a provost, and another is a college president. My mother is a banker, my grandparents were teachers, a nurse, and a fireman, and their fathers were in farming, fishing, pharmacy, and the army.
My family’s cats were each called “Kitty” when I was young, and so were my grandparents’ cats. My sister’s cat is also “Kitty”, and my cousin’s cat was “Black Kitty”. For a while I was called “Boy”. People in our family eat a lot of pie.
I teach at Berkeley, and so do my wife and my fifth cousin once removed. My eighth cousin five times removed wrote a famous book, and my tenth cousin died in a car accident in 1997.
My college friends teach at Clark, Harvard, Ohio State, Sheffield, and Suffolk, or they are Canadian actors and comedians.
Either this guy’s got the biggest inferiority complex this side of the Pecos, or he’s desperate to be included in the next edition of the Almanach de Gotha. (The original’s chock-a-block full of links, if you give a shit about validating all those cousins and friends and things.)
Oh, and did he tell you that he’s great-great-great-gerat-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-uncle twice removed on the Isildur side was once punched in the nose by Gandalf the Grey for naming dropping? True story.








